Yo Yo! I'm back =]

Well Well, it has taken me 6 months away from blogging. Not so long nor too soon. Half year of preparation for STPM has finally come to a dot. The half year is not good as i thought, busy preparing for the exam, research, and bla bla bla. Anyhow, decided not to think about it right now. For now it's the time for me to think about wad Uni i shl put my choice on it. People told me before doing that, u shl estimate ur own result first. That helps u to get into the Uni u want.
Right, Im not sure about how my result would be, but definitely not that good i guess. Have not been doing my best. Reason? Forget about it. It's the thing i would rather delete it from my mind, but i know i can't. It's more hurtful as the one who get hurt is not u. *Breath deeply* Life still have to go on.
The deadline is 7/1/2011, i got 3 more days to think about it. Im confused and i think i have run into chaos. I don't sure exactly wad i want and wad im thinking. In fact, im not just that good in expressing myself, telling nor writing. This is the first time in my life, i would say... Forgive about my foolishness, just hope everything is a change there. Life is so cruel when we have to face the fact, the fact created by my own..
In short, my life doesn't look good in the recent time. But i will get this all alright. Just wish me good luck. For now, to decide the Uni, and the result. =]

p/s: Life is though, not just a word can describe how though is it. But i will try, with all my heart and my soul, to fight, to do whatever thing i can...

Are u doing okay?

Since last post, 4 April, it has been 2 month i didn't update my blog due to busy preparing the coming mid-year exam. Well, the exam is not really good to me and my health ofcuz. Won't be doing that till before the final test. Within these two month, lots of things happen on me, well, not a big deal. And people asked me, 'why don't u update ur blog?' In fact, i don't really like to polish my mind before typing in to this square box. So i'm sorry to readers who always update to me but at last, disappointing. I'm doing okay here. So how's u all? Still doing okay? No news is good news, i strongly believe that.

Recently friend and friends are having their own relationship with a girl or a boy. By side looking on this, they don't really know that having a partner is not really as what they thought. They thought it could be fun, 'having a girl friend, good to hug and a girl to talk to, why not?' Feedback that disgusted me. That's also why i always see people hanging on the phone and their face told us that they are not happy and instead, not really happy. For me, having a girlfriend can be considered as a burden, it's our responsibility to take care of her, do we really know how to take care of our partner? Oh really? Think again...

Sometimes, we wish to take care but we don't really do it well;
Sometimes, we want to take care but we give her a silence instead;
Sometimes, we wish to understand but just what we wish;
Sometimes, we want to understand but mess up the whole thing;

Sometimes, we have our own emotional too;
Sometimes, we have our own works too;
Sometimes, we're working for what we aim;
Sometimes, we're having our problem.

So what if all the sometimes added up, it would be every times...

P/s: No offense to couples, I'm sorry if i did.

April day 4/4

Friend leaving to further his study is a good news. Today 4/4, is the day he leaving us. However everyone keeps telling me that He is leaving, don't u feel lonely? Funny, I ain't to be a gay. For me to know that he is leaving for his own choices, no matter what it is, should glad that he made his decision. What is on his future, it all depends on God, may God lead him and bless him. I believe this is the best wish. Well, back to this situation, the time he leaving brings me a shock in my heart. Thousand of pictures flying through my mind, i can barely keep my steady and give him a hug. Wishes him the best. Wave my hand and nothing much formal than this, Bye and take care.. Through this, i know deeply in my heart, it's not a sad emotional but hope! Hopeful on him. That's what i really think of. Looking back what we had together, that should be kept well as it has become memories.

Well, his leaving has brought me a new life. An arrangement should be made in order to adjust back to the life that i should have. A life that will be alone, less talk, and less fun of course. Blade always has both side. Don't matter on that. Getting my mind to positive side. Be hopeful, every tribulation will bring us perseverance. We shl be joyful in it. :)

p/s: Gentlemen, arrangement is activated. Get rdy ur arms to get hurt!

Recently

Cold water flows through every single of my hair, by taking a deep breath, i can feel myself, i'm still alive. The feeling doesn't lie. It's time to be honest to myself. I lift up my head, water spreads out from my face, everything that questioning me, sarcastically look at me, and torture me in my daily life will come to me now. The water keep flowing down, i can barely feel the water flows through my mind. It's time, Sun raise up and slowly, i can feel the light shot on my face, the little heat...

Well, recently few things happen on me. It can be said to be nothing if i really take it as nothing. On my physical, mental, and so... Since i choose to do so, i don't expect any goods. And ofcuz, feed back will be spelled back. I really take a long long time to calm down myself, think carefully, everything that i do, i did, what i hv done... I dare not tell myself that it's fool, but i can't describe it anyhow. It's said that this is the path that everyone will go through it. I agreed but i can't satisfy with myself.

When i turn my face and look into other situation, the view is totally different from what my eyes always involved in. I can feel my life back. The section is clear. It takes me another deep breath. Look into it, and look back to it, i question myself again. Do u really like that? Don't break ur spear using ur own shield..

Now, I'm standing in the conjunction, i don't really can see what is in front of me but i can sure what is better to me by reading the road signs. Well, darkness comes to me. It's going to rain soon. I shl make my decision earlier so that i can hide myself. Well, people always confuse in this situation, afraid to make a conclusion which they as myself will be wrong. Life is no regret, no part 2, no NG. This reminds me the poem, The Road Not Taken. I hv ntg much comments on this. I pray to God, for him, He knows the way i shl take, and he will lead me to the place i shl be.

P/s: Slowly and slowly, i believe i can forget abt it. Time is the key, to open, or to lock...

Back New Year!

Yo! I'm back~ Quite a long time didn't sign in my acc. Just standing beside and reading others blog. =P Becuz of what? What Mr.Chew always states our class, L.A.Z.Y. Well, back to here, new year time is going to end soon. Time to pack my things and also, my mood and plan to back to my bird nest. Here's my new year journey~ Let's ride
(Wed)

Early in the morning, i started my journey to fetch Haren and Jlim and headed to IBM, where our starting point. And also, met Vior at there.

At Mr.Chew house, he is the cutest teacher i ever met. Kindly take a pic with him, he looks younger! His house is awesome. =)
Xuan: " Sir, let's TWO~"
Chew: " No, TEN better, HAHA."
Xuan: "..."


The amount of angpao i got, YET, it will be increased. =)

In my car, from left, Me, Vior, Haren and JLim. =)

Well, we went many places, most of them are friends, 2 teacher - Mr.TLK and Mr.Chew. We had our dinner at Li Ho's house, steamboat. ^^ Thn we departed at about 8p.m. Decided to hv a movie, all headed to Pacific, where we thought the highest percentage we can get tickets with good seats. Big small soldier, though it consisted only laugh, we still enjoy it. And we found a secret there. Wahaha~

Well, that's all for my recent journey. The rest, Coming Soon~ =)

p/s: Bonding in chem is awesome, single bond, covalent bond, ionic bond, and Hydrogen Bond! Careful!!

New to 2010

I don't really expect the date now is 30/1/2010. First month has passed without any notice. Ya, what i talk abt is not only the date. Looking forward to the date, cancel out all of the time on sleeping, play, on class, on special day which we would properly allow us to waste it, on fun, on friends, on 4 words - L, A, Z, Y and etc.. STPM is no longer in front of us..

For now, i meet the friend that i heard of him long long time ago, who i nvr meet.. His name "pressure". I think i can communicate with him well, that's why he keeps on with me. We talk less, cuz he likes to stay around me and looking at me without making any sounds. He's cute, as i invites him for a game or outing to relax, he rejects. He accompanies me always whenever in class, in hostel, in my bed, in my dream... He told me that he comes from a place, named "Surrounding". It's somewhere around the world. He can find us through study, work, friends, family and etc.. i found that most of them are becuz of high-expectation. Expectation to u, from friends, from family, from urself.. Well, i don't often start our conversation unless he talks to me first.. Sometimes he will go for hols too as my hols too. Well, he told me that he will spend at least 1 more year around me. I don't talk much, just continue doing what i shl do...

Ok, let's back to recent life.. It's just like a formula, by filling in the same conditions, results will always almost the same. May be this is what we called it as study project. the project that most of us will hv to face it. One day, we will hand in it and present it. Well, the formula still works on me, waiting the day to break the formula.

p/s: Knowing where our sun is, run towards it, without any delay, make it proud of us.

It's time

A time ago,
Don't really know,
just think to go,
the way to go,
as i do so,
it's hard to me so...

Think to give,
as a gift,
not to you,
but to both,
may hv gibe,
still better not to gig...

I should do so as i do,
Like a fool who's too sure,
A fire without flame,
I'm a song without a soul...

An emo poem, which perhaps can make me feel better.. As time goes on, lower six has past. Nothing to talk much about my study, it's boring. Anyway, i will do my best on it. Makes no regret, no mercy to the paper! It's time to "Culling blade" the complicated situation. As too much of things is unexplainable, better get myself out of there. Promised myself not to put an eye on there, not even single moment to think to do that. As that really affected my mood,indeed.

Ok, that's all the report about my recent target. Will modify it as to suit the situation. STPM left 312 days starting from today. Subtract from holidays and unexpected day to go out, I don't think we got much time to revise. To be well prepared for the coming exam SOON, start from now! Makes no excuse to the exam as to ourself too! =) F2

p/s: The graph which feeling against righteous is always inversely proportional.