Yo Yo! I'm back =]

Well Well, it has taken me 6 months away from blogging. Not so long nor too soon. Half year of preparation for STPM has finally come to a dot. The half year is not good as i thought, busy preparing for the exam, research, and bla bla bla. Anyhow, decided not to think about it right now. For now it's the time for me to think about wad Uni i shl put my choice on it. People told me before doing that, u shl estimate ur own result first. That helps u to get into the Uni u want.
Right, Im not sure about how my result would be, but definitely not that good i guess. Have not been doing my best. Reason? Forget about it. It's the thing i would rather delete it from my mind, but i know i can't. It's more hurtful as the one who get hurt is not u. *Breath deeply* Life still have to go on.
The deadline is 7/1/2011, i got 3 more days to think about it. Im confused and i think i have run into chaos. I don't sure exactly wad i want and wad im thinking. In fact, im not just that good in expressing myself, telling nor writing. This is the first time in my life, i would say... Forgive about my foolishness, just hope everything is a change there. Life is so cruel when we have to face the fact, the fact created by my own..
In short, my life doesn't look good in the recent time. But i will get this all alright. Just wish me good luck. For now, to decide the Uni, and the result. =]

p/s: Life is though, not just a word can describe how though is it. But i will try, with all my heart and my soul, to fight, to do whatever thing i can...

Are u doing okay?

Since last post, 4 April, it has been 2 month i didn't update my blog due to busy preparing the coming mid-year exam. Well, the exam is not really good to me and my health ofcuz. Won't be doing that till before the final test. Within these two month, lots of things happen on me, well, not a big deal. And people asked me, 'why don't u update ur blog?' In fact, i don't really like to polish my mind before typing in to this square box. So i'm sorry to readers who always update to me but at last, disappointing. I'm doing okay here. So how's u all? Still doing okay? No news is good news, i strongly believe that.

Recently friend and friends are having their own relationship with a girl or a boy. By side looking on this, they don't really know that having a partner is not really as what they thought. They thought it could be fun, 'having a girl friend, good to hug and a girl to talk to, why not?' Feedback that disgusted me. That's also why i always see people hanging on the phone and their face told us that they are not happy and instead, not really happy. For me, having a girlfriend can be considered as a burden, it's our responsibility to take care of her, do we really know how to take care of our partner? Oh really? Think again...

Sometimes, we wish to take care but we don't really do it well;
Sometimes, we want to take care but we give her a silence instead;
Sometimes, we wish to understand but just what we wish;
Sometimes, we want to understand but mess up the whole thing;

Sometimes, we have our own emotional too;
Sometimes, we have our own works too;
Sometimes, we're working for what we aim;
Sometimes, we're having our problem.

So what if all the sometimes added up, it would be every times...

P/s: No offense to couples, I'm sorry if i did.

April day 4/4

Friend leaving to further his study is a good news. Today 4/4, is the day he leaving us. However everyone keeps telling me that He is leaving, don't u feel lonely? Funny, I ain't to be a gay. For me to know that he is leaving for his own choices, no matter what it is, should glad that he made his decision. What is on his future, it all depends on God, may God lead him and bless him. I believe this is the best wish. Well, back to this situation, the time he leaving brings me a shock in my heart. Thousand of pictures flying through my mind, i can barely keep my steady and give him a hug. Wishes him the best. Wave my hand and nothing much formal than this, Bye and take care.. Through this, i know deeply in my heart, it's not a sad emotional but hope! Hopeful on him. That's what i really think of. Looking back what we had together, that should be kept well as it has become memories.

Well, his leaving has brought me a new life. An arrangement should be made in order to adjust back to the life that i should have. A life that will be alone, less talk, and less fun of course. Blade always has both side. Don't matter on that. Getting my mind to positive side. Be hopeful, every tribulation will bring us perseverance. We shl be joyful in it. :)

p/s: Gentlemen, arrangement is activated. Get rdy ur arms to get hurt!

Recently

Cold water flows through every single of my hair, by taking a deep breath, i can feel myself, i'm still alive. The feeling doesn't lie. It's time to be honest to myself. I lift up my head, water spreads out from my face, everything that questioning me, sarcastically look at me, and torture me in my daily life will come to me now. The water keep flowing down, i can barely feel the water flows through my mind. It's time, Sun raise up and slowly, i can feel the light shot on my face, the little heat...

Well, recently few things happen on me. It can be said to be nothing if i really take it as nothing. On my physical, mental, and so... Since i choose to do so, i don't expect any goods. And ofcuz, feed back will be spelled back. I really take a long long time to calm down myself, think carefully, everything that i do, i did, what i hv done... I dare not tell myself that it's fool, but i can't describe it anyhow. It's said that this is the path that everyone will go through it. I agreed but i can't satisfy with myself.

When i turn my face and look into other situation, the view is totally different from what my eyes always involved in. I can feel my life back. The section is clear. It takes me another deep breath. Look into it, and look back to it, i question myself again. Do u really like that? Don't break ur spear using ur own shield..

Now, I'm standing in the conjunction, i don't really can see what is in front of me but i can sure what is better to me by reading the road signs. Well, darkness comes to me. It's going to rain soon. I shl make my decision earlier so that i can hide myself. Well, people always confuse in this situation, afraid to make a conclusion which they as myself will be wrong. Life is no regret, no part 2, no NG. This reminds me the poem, The Road Not Taken. I hv ntg much comments on this. I pray to God, for him, He knows the way i shl take, and he will lead me to the place i shl be.

P/s: Slowly and slowly, i believe i can forget abt it. Time is the key, to open, or to lock...

Back New Year!

Yo! I'm back~ Quite a long time didn't sign in my acc. Just standing beside and reading others blog. =P Becuz of what? What Mr.Chew always states our class, L.A.Z.Y. Well, back to here, new year time is going to end soon. Time to pack my things and also, my mood and plan to back to my bird nest. Here's my new year journey~ Let's ride
(Wed)

Early in the morning, i started my journey to fetch Haren and Jlim and headed to IBM, where our starting point. And also, met Vior at there.

At Mr.Chew house, he is the cutest teacher i ever met. Kindly take a pic with him, he looks younger! His house is awesome. =)
Xuan: " Sir, let's TWO~"
Chew: " No, TEN better, HAHA."
Xuan: "..."


The amount of angpao i got, YET, it will be increased. =)

In my car, from left, Me, Vior, Haren and JLim. =)

Well, we went many places, most of them are friends, 2 teacher - Mr.TLK and Mr.Chew. We had our dinner at Li Ho's house, steamboat. ^^ Thn we departed at about 8p.m. Decided to hv a movie, all headed to Pacific, where we thought the highest percentage we can get tickets with good seats. Big small soldier, though it consisted only laugh, we still enjoy it. And we found a secret there. Wahaha~

Well, that's all for my recent journey. The rest, Coming Soon~ =)

p/s: Bonding in chem is awesome, single bond, covalent bond, ionic bond, and Hydrogen Bond! Careful!!

New to 2010

I don't really expect the date now is 30/1/2010. First month has passed without any notice. Ya, what i talk abt is not only the date. Looking forward to the date, cancel out all of the time on sleeping, play, on class, on special day which we would properly allow us to waste it, on fun, on friends, on 4 words - L, A, Z, Y and etc.. STPM is no longer in front of us..

For now, i meet the friend that i heard of him long long time ago, who i nvr meet.. His name "pressure". I think i can communicate with him well, that's why he keeps on with me. We talk less, cuz he likes to stay around me and looking at me without making any sounds. He's cute, as i invites him for a game or outing to relax, he rejects. He accompanies me always whenever in class, in hostel, in my bed, in my dream... He told me that he comes from a place, named "Surrounding". It's somewhere around the world. He can find us through study, work, friends, family and etc.. i found that most of them are becuz of high-expectation. Expectation to u, from friends, from family, from urself.. Well, i don't often start our conversation unless he talks to me first.. Sometimes he will go for hols too as my hols too. Well, he told me that he will spend at least 1 more year around me. I don't talk much, just continue doing what i shl do...

Ok, let's back to recent life.. It's just like a formula, by filling in the same conditions, results will always almost the same. May be this is what we called it as study project. the project that most of us will hv to face it. One day, we will hand in it and present it. Well, the formula still works on me, waiting the day to break the formula.

p/s: Knowing where our sun is, run towards it, without any delay, make it proud of us.

It's time

A time ago,
Don't really know,
just think to go,
the way to go,
as i do so,
it's hard to me so...

Think to give,
as a gift,
not to you,
but to both,
may hv gibe,
still better not to gig...

I should do so as i do,
Like a fool who's too sure,
A fire without flame,
I'm a song without a soul...

An emo poem, which perhaps can make me feel better.. As time goes on, lower six has past. Nothing to talk much about my study, it's boring. Anyway, i will do my best on it. Makes no regret, no mercy to the paper! It's time to "Culling blade" the complicated situation. As too much of things is unexplainable, better get myself out of there. Promised myself not to put an eye on there, not even single moment to think to do that. As that really affected my mood,indeed.

Ok, that's all the report about my recent target. Will modify it as to suit the situation. STPM left 312 days starting from today. Subtract from holidays and unexpected day to go out, I don't think we got much time to revise. To be well prepared for the coming exam SOON, start from now! Makes no excuse to the exam as to ourself too! =) F2

p/s: The graph which feeling against righteous is always inversely proportional.

Back to Jan

I have been away for a month of my blog ago. Here is my report. =]
Birthday - We have to prepare it since after our final exam. 19/12 It is my b'day, my lovely family and cousin had organized a BBQ party for me to celebrate and they bought my favorite choco cake for me. I was so touched! =) After that, i hv to go back to my hostel and continue my 6th form stuffs at there. Sounds like a sad story huh. But i don't think that way. For me, birthday is not only a birth mark to me, but a day that i shl be thankful to my mum who brought me here. Love u my mum, thanks for every moment u give. Love u. =]

Dinner - After my b'day, there will be IBM farewell dinner 2009 at Equatorial Hotel. I was the MC that night, admittedly i didn't really prepare well for that, I'm sry to everyone here. That night I almost went crazy as 90% our program had been spoiled, I was like the ant on the hot kettle. Thanks God, I prayed to God and God answered me by actions. After praying, everything went smooth and everyone did really enjoy the dinner. ^^ At last, It can be said the night is awesome. =)

Christmas - Before Christmas, 24/10 we went to orphanage. Visit them and knows about their life. We shl glad that we got a chance to call papa and mama. We're the lucky one. Will tell details if i still got free time to blog. =) Christmas. We celebrate Christmas it's becuz the name of Christ has come to this world and there will be a new king who can save us. That night, we all did very well, not the performance but the teamwork of us. =) Everyone takes care of other and helps around there. Then we had our supper in Mamak at Taman Pekaka. A great night. =) Merry Christmas.

New year - Happy new year. A new year has come to us but i don't think it's happy. May be it's becuz the date is far far away again from my b'day. Anyway, new year recalls me much things. What i have done, what i did... *too long here* Short cut>> So as a result , I didn't attend my cousin's new year celebration party at Penang, though i went to Perak, Lumut, with teachers and some of my friends. It's a great place to let our hair down, swimming and basketball, both my favor activities. =] We had joy in the room while everyone talks non-stop. The most moment that i felt every tension has gone is the time after swimming, i took a bath, sit comfortly on the sofa, looking at TV, and i tasted a drop of Coffee. Hmm~ Nothing better than this. ^^

p/s: Here is all short cut about my hols, a busy and meaningful hols. =) I'm sorry it's without pic, will try to upload in the coming post. It's quite late now. 5am. I might say it as quite early now. =P

Short story : B'day gift!! ^^

Yea,it's a external hard disc which both of my cute,beautiful,kind and charming sister gave to me as my birthday present. Of course,I'm not showing but just want to share my happiness. These both sister always take care of me and it goes on since i was still chewing my nipple. So touching while i receive this. ^_^ Anyway,it's just a short update to my recent life. =) Thanks to my sister here. Love u both. =)
Wish to IBM students who is having their final exam next week all the best and the most important thing,good luck. Lolz. Going back to my lovely hostel later,mood down-ing. ~.~

p/s: If u understand me,it's understood. =)

Dream = Drug

Everyone has their dream,of course,included me. But what we gonna do with our "growing up age" is to recognize dream and target. Dream,we can make it anytime,anywhere,anyhow. It doesn't need any requirement,as long as u're the main character,everything will just follow ur wish to go on. Dream is perfect to us huh? There is still a very fine line upon it. Facts always tell us that dream doesn't perfect. Admitted..

"You may dream,but do not make dream as ur master",a phrase from form 5 poem,we all still remember,don't we?

"Who will make dream as our master,HaHa,of course not." Sounds similar from every mouth of us,not bad.. Thinking of someone is always shown to us by their behavior and not words.

Thinking, we shl make some time to realize,don't we?

But after realizing,what we always do to it is to ignore. Do nothing on it. "Haiya,just a dream,it won't affect me much." Sounds good. =)

In deep of our heart,we all know that,don't we?

We will commit again.
Ways to solve it will only be known by our self.

Target,which involved logical thinking,future,our self and of course planning. We shl always target our self,but not dreaming our self. As we know,dream is just like a drug,when u lie to urself,this drug kills all ur brain cell. Ur brain will become a nutshell. "It's just like gravity,what it takes is a little push." Do not even make this push to us. As this age,everything is attracting us,it's impossible not to dream,we all know about this,dream will drug our self to enjoy or perhaps,forget the facts. Dream is a Drug. After taking off this drug,we will only find nothing,nothing...

p/s: As i said,it's impossible not to dream. So what i typed up there is nonsense,yet,there is still a very fine line upon it. Infinity always tells us that Zero can be anything,can be nothing. =)
U still can take the drug if and only if u got the immunity skill and u may swallow the drug.

Two Holi-Days at Penang

"Every time u touch me,i will become a hero. U walk into my life. I know what's beautiful,just looking at you."

Recently can't update my own blog due to some personal reason. It's DAMN boring can't use my com after coming back from the bird nest. These days i really think of so much things. I can't expect me to know all these. Things that will always affect me,things that always around me,things that will make me stronger,I'm lost. In this situation,no one can come out an conclusion. What i have to do is shut up,and do my own things.

"Come on guy,u still got a long long way to go." I always do to tell myself. Don't stop whenever u meet obstacle. After watching 2012,it seems all these have to be proven wrong. Of course,it is just a movie. What I'm trying to say is the time flies with no signal. Sometimes,just stop and look around me and behind me what we have done.

Well,let's come back to real life. Just finished marathon and back from Penang. It's exhausted. However,i did really enjoy these 2 days. Fainted 7 hours after coming back,i think it's quite short for me,going to sleep back later. Wahaha. k la,time to pack e'thg and have to go back to nest d. NVM! Holidays is coming soon soON SOON~ ^^ Let's put our hand in the air and wait for it~

p/s: There is always a reaction after applying force on something. Bad Xuan. =)

Second before gonig back to bird nest~

Emo-picture again? No no,it's just a fun-taking with my friends while jogging at Meng Kuang. Oh,sunset.i like it! =)

6th form farewell which will be organized at the coming Dec 20,and I'm the director of our club. Well,it really doesn't a big deal to me,what big deal it is the party,is just a day before my.. Waliao eh..How can it be like that.. Haih..Admit,and do it,ntg gonna chage it. T^T

Quite busy nowadays,study+6th form works have taken all my time. It's not bad though. Haha,I won't be emo and think of excess wasting my time. =) Recently,i did really play too much of DotA,pawn and pawn,get killed and ended. My time is just like water flowing away. Should have adjust my time table again. Next week,more accurately,next Saturday,will be our MUET exam day. I really hope to get what i wanted,Band 4. Then i can drop English in the coming upper six. That will be really free to me.

K la,going to pack my things and go back to bird nest again,all the best and good luck my friends. =)

Prayer:Lord,help those who are facing their MUET exam. Taking away their nervousness and empower us. Amen.

Walk by walks

"General,we have lost contact to team 3,report in,over.."
"We are in position,ready to...*Screaming*"
"General? Team 2 team 2 please response,over."
"*sha*...*sha*.."

Disorganization failure

Lost connection for unclarity causes. Enemy is using unknown weapon damaging our system and causes eardrum explode. Team 2 and Team 3 have been defeated.18 people have been confirmed dead...

Reported by Mr.Fact

Language,connection,link,relationship and self-esteem have been a velum to human in communicating. Ya of course,we are still in contact.but what do we really contact? Body? Spirit? Soul? Or i think the answer probably would be Mouth Communication Interchange(M.C.I). MCI has been using so wildly and it is said to be normal. People is only communicating with using only their mouth. "Cannot mah,how to chat jek? We are not the friend as good as u thought and mostly,we are in wrong channel." Very typical answer. =) Indeed. So what have we seen in our future path? These so called "friends"? Unmoral attitudes?

Admittedly,everyone has their own enemy in their life. Along the path,enemy would be different following our path. The most important thing to defeat "him" is to know him. Realize him,attest to him,face him,take care of him (then use a knife to thrust him!),of course,a joke.. Yea,people has told us this era years ago. To realize him or not? You are the only one can know it. Easy,everyone has their fault,their own enemy. Delay may bring failure,as the soldiers stated above. Unknown brings tragedy. And,what element makes this enemy? Some said it is a psychogenesis,yourself, and may be,other people. All depends on us. Life can be meaningful,don't waste it in depression. May God bless u all,my friends. =)

Storming We3k..

Yea,just like the tree inside the photo,striking storm. Tree will keep on growing tall and taller to get enough sunlight for their food transformation,photosynthesis of course. As things undergo normally,storm is always out of realize-able.. Just like me..

I just do the things,as normal,everything follows the formula. Though,how long did i really filter myself into the formula,which i had forgotten what i should do and also shouldn't do.
Unexpected event has waken me up anyway. I should get rid of that,indeed. It's not a big deal though,but what i can really sure is i have to really think of that,my starting with my ending. Will it be possible a sad ending or something else. Prevention is always better than cure.

Now i standing at there,i should take the rest,and face it without doubt. Faith will carry me on. Yup,i like a girl which i really didn't notice that i like her. So i don't think liking a person is wrong,i do like many people and love my friends. What i gonna do in this case is to admit and keep it well in transparent relationship. Make us friend as possible as i can. Let all things go under nature. Don't think too much and focus on my study.

P/s:When the time will be,it will be. =)

Meaningful Day..

Ah Lim,the only one chinese at there,he is now form 5,God bless him. =)

Kids from there,cute + innocence. =)

On the way to waterfalls!! Siok nia~ haha~

On self-possession.. =)

YoYo~quite like this photo. =) haha..

17 Oct 2009,early in the morning 8.00a.m,my phone's alarm rang,and as usual,i threw my phone away..8.55a.m,Jerry came to my house and ready to fetch me to church to gather. Waliao,i dash to my bathroom as well as packing on my way. How can i do that? I don't know. Human always can do something that is impossible for a 'normal' of you in the urgent situation. Lolz..

After all,we began our footstep to orphanage. I'm the first time to step into there. It's out of my expectation. Anyway,after setting e'thing down,dean told us about the history of this orphanage. In 80-an,he was a civil technician in Johor,he got a high salary job,around Rm8000-Rm9000. One day,he heard that God ask him to leave his job and create this orphanage. By the way,he is a Muslim. His family agreed with that. Then he started his first bible study and training class at there. In 89-an,he was alone to Sungai Petani,he got nothing,no one that can help him,but God. His faith bring him here. Everything God has planned for him. In 90-an,he started this orphanage. Neglected children will be sent here. And three years ago,their orphanage got financial problem,they prayed for it. After 1 week,a guy from Australia phoned him,and asked him *******,is that ur bank account number? He answered 'yes.',and asked who is him? The guy said nothing but just said that he want to donate RM50k money to their orphanage. Until now,they still dunno who is the guy. How well is God helping us. =)

After that,i went around to have a look. Their life is really different from us. For first,of course,they got no parents for them to call "Papa or Mama". *Heart broke* Then their place to sleep and bathroom,place to dry their clothes,playground,toys are all different. Their life is simple. *touching* How blessedness we have. We should appreciate every moment with our parents,appreciate every call "Mum and Dad". Thanks God,i learned much more than a lesson today. =)

Then,it's waterfalls time!!! Wahaha,siok nia. The water is refreshing,my mind,my body,my eyes,my brain,my soul,and my spirit. Darren,Jerry and me lying on the rock where is just nearby the waterfalls(where the water flows very fast),we took a short nap there. Due to we went up to a quite high place,there are few people. Wind blows,leafage flying around,water go through every part of my body,quite and i can even hear water flowing,bird singing. How nice is my feeling after awaken,it did refresh me. Then we played around at there. Just had a nice time at the waterfalls. (p/s:The highlight is while we catch the male frog which is really big and at that time,it was doing "something" to another female frog. LOL..)

Time flied fast,time to go back. Then we went to Sunway to have our dinner. Drank white coffee!! ^^ How nice~ Then we chatting all the way while back.

P/S: Please appreciate every moments we have with our family. =)

Prayer:Lord,i thank to you for bringing us safely all the way and we got parents. May God bless all the children at orphanage there. Especially the kid(i think he is just around 8 years old) who is going to face his operation in the coming Dec. Amen. =)

New Day! New begin! =)

Spider-man,who name himself as well,and people call him as poet-man too. Well,tell honestly and seriously,u just CAN'T imagine how CRAZY he is!

Half an hour before Muet speaking test started. Thanks God! I got the easiest tittle with the best point to talk about. =)

Name: Hunter Xuan
Age: Ancient ages
Details: Appears near around BM,Lower Six Science B.
-Used to hunt for anything.
-Melee type Hunter.
-Damage with using blade.
-Atlante-an man eater.

My new identity,has shown above,Hunter Xuan. Haha,it's just a joke,fun at taking those strange photo anyway. Hmm,This week,i really collapse. I mean,not only physical,but also mental and faith. Ya,i have met some troublesome situation. Now,i think i can really cool down myself and know what had happened to me. Think TOO MUCH! (It doesn't mean what i thought is meaningless,it do remind me and become my lesson.) Yea,that's what i did. I really don't want to accept the fact,anyway,accepted has made me feel better,much much better. Thanks God. I'm fine now. =)

On this Wednesday,it's our Muet Speaking Test day. I didn't feel like nervous at all. Somehow,i did before entering to the exam room. Lol! My sound was shivering as i want to continue my individual presentation. I take 0.32 second to stay cool and continue. Haha,it's so fun to hear that all of the participates speak with their shivering sound,of course included me. In discussion,we have 10 mins to discuss about the most effective way to save our money spending on foodstuff which is increasing nowadays. I'm the only one who can take care of the time(they didn't wear watch!),fine,it's just a raise-hand job. Anyhow,i found it too fake while i gave signal to them that time is almost up. They all suddenly turn to agree me. Believe me,and also believe my eyes,i saw examine was about to laugh but stay steady and he and she (two examiners) laugh after we went out. LOLZ! I was feeling so paiseh. We are not only testing our English,but also our acting skill. Haha.

Then,for the lesson past few weeks and days,i have learned smtg anyway. Thanks God i m awaken. Things must be balanced,abo u will collapse in this world of lie like me. =)

p/s:Sun still shines on me,why should i switch off my light in my room? Just go out to breath and let the sun shine on you. Warm and fresh. How well the creation of God. =) Don't waste your days which can be meaningful and beautiful in depression. Don't lose the chance to enjoy ur life,appreciate the chances and hold it tide,you are the special one and only one. And do believe,anger and depression can be overcome by love and hope. =)

Suffering...

IBM,this is the place where i have started my new life at there. I do believe,for now,i have experienced something different. Recalling my secondary school's life,it's simple and easy. Game + eat + sleep,is there any life can more simple than this? Of course i enjoy it. Time flies so fast that i couldn't even realize time is passing...And it will never return. Some people said that life is easy. How life is that easy? Life is not easy! It's hard,especially if u want to become a Good Man.Of course i m not saying i'm the one,but at least,i m trying my best to.

Now,1a.m,i m still staring on this screen,as tomorrow i got a English Muet speaking test. Recalling,what i have done. How my life goes on... Listening to my breathing,i finally got my time to stay peace. I'm really sorry my friend,being a temper friend,emotional friend... I think i already knew where is problem,but i got to take some time to handle it. For me,now i m really going to become a mad person. Pressure from study,from friends,from situation,from life,from family...The most important is the pressure from myself which i really can't effort it. Demand on myself from me? It's impossible to reach and the worst is i knew what is right and what i should do. I'm so blame full to myself as i m the master of me also. Am i mad? Some answers me is 'Yes,Xuan,u think too much ady.','So i don't have to think? Just ignore those things? I don't want to be a fool.' I answered myself in deep of my mind. Some says 'No,Xuan,u did well somehow,but then u can't change the fact,so that's it.What u can do is to accept it,or else,learn to ignore it.'

Hmm,for now,i believe i m lost. So do i have to think? No matter i know or i don't,what i can do is just ignoring. And the most important thing is,i can't control my emotional while looking at those things. It affected me,very much... I really felt exhausted.I think this is the reason why i get mad nowadays. Apologize to all my friends again here. For next time,i will learn to close my eyes,prevent looking it. It's hard,it's tough,but i will learn,and i must learn! Time to sleep. It's about 1.15am now. Good night my friends.

Prayer: Lord,with your wisdom,help me to solve this situation. And please help all those students who are having Muet Speaking tomorrow and also the day after tomorrow. Amen.

p/s:It's time to slow down my footstep,feel the seconds,i need time. =) Peace~

Haiz's day In IBM

Kok Sheng,the one blackie who stand beside me,has left us to go back to his secondary school to continue his form 6. He is the best basketball player among our friends. We have lost a good player on court. Anyhow,blade doesn't always benefit on one side,he is quite a noob player in DotA,so we have lost a food in gaming. Well,wish u all the best at Perlis there. We'll meet again in GG. =)

At a normal month,a normal week,normal day,in a normal school,with some normal friend... Ya,everything happens just like normal. But it's not for me. In there few days,i really miss my old classmate,they know me the most,they know how am i. Of course not fully understand of me,but we can have joy always,smile together,we can understand,at least,what we r talking. At there,i think i have changed. Changed to a person who doesn't talk always,of course i think it's good,at least not talking bullshit. With this,i have changed from a person who always like to share about my life and talking all over the day to a person who trying to be serious in his study,stop talking bullshit,and as well,my friends around me will not know about me. The situation is,they don't know who am i,i can really joke u know? I can really play madly,but i m just choosing the right time,not like before,playing around the clock. So...what m i facing now is they go out,for example gathering,they won't tell at least i ask. And some activity,even i ask,they won't tell me. At first to IBM,we know each other,well,even just a short time,but we have understood each other much don't we? I thought we have become a "friend".I'm asking a friend who is not only say 'Hi' and 'Bye'. Of course,the thing is not that serious yet,if i take it easy. I care about,that's why i feel upset. Well,i know this will over soon. What i can do is just doing my own job and wait.

Yesterday,went outing with my really friends,they told me not to worry,it's just a period that u can do nothing,but just to wait. Kinda Emo these days,but i feel much better after talking to them,i can feel my shoulder becoming lighter a bit. Thanks my friend who console me. =)

p/s:For friend who is studying in IBM or knows who are they,i don't wanna this to be known by anyone who is included above there. I hope this can really be kept well. Thanks. =)

Ntg special~

Well,ntg special happen in my nearly life in IBM school or family,either. For the coming holidays,thurday War Game(which is known as Paint Ball),and Sunday,we're going to Gurney to celebrate Father's birthday. Before this,i m seeking for real activity which can really put my hair down. Well,it seems a good idea. Will try to enjoy it.

Recently,i didnt really study hard for my chem,and physic too. Hmm,gotta take this holidays to cover back. Digging holes for my head later. Kaka~ Today,went to Sunway with Happy Tan,Lanson and Darren. For my first time,i went to Parkson to buy T-shirt myself with no family members to give suggestion or may be,decide for me. Satisfied,because i have bought two T-shirt which i really like it. It's nt expensive either due to Sales there. I'm going to wear one of them to Penang for the celebration. Can't wait for the day! Wahaha~

On the other hand,i found that i m acting like a involker. Involking talking skills,joking skills,writting skills,acting skills,and also... (left it blank,bcuz still got a lot to fill in. xD) Well,i don't really think that is bad but in the other way,i learn what i think is good ,and ofcourse,i can't totally ignore what is really bad for me. I found that nowadays,i don't really can control my friend,named Moody. I will just feel like a sudden-moody. Don't ask me why,i can't answer it to myself too. During these moments,i used to remember some factors which might not be probably be the reason why am i moody,but still,i remember it. Factors included:

1. When i see some doggie face showing to G,and also shaking their tail which they might think can get more rewards with acting "cute"
2. G compress their sound to below 10 bells,which they think that it can probably attract guy's attention while B actually nearly can't hear them.

Hmm,it's just two factors,the rest i don't wanna to state it out. It's too horror~Well well,let's end here. =)

Back to there again...

Finally,the long long holidays have just finished. I was not happy during the holidays which are nearly 2 weeks for me as i fall in sick. No matter how hard i tried to drink more water,my body temperature kept on stationary,it doesn't feel like moving. So i gave up. What a lame sickness. *Sighs* Sick,u know how much "ma huan" u brought to me? U know how much food i missed? Damn u! =.=

Thanks God,after 4 days,i m fine now! Wahaha... Recently,i don't feel like writing blog,don't ask me why,if i would tell,i won't tell here too. Not because of secrety,but because of "ma huan". Lolz. I'm kinda lazy nowadays. I think i get affected by my sickness,i slept too much. Well,for myself,for my study,either,have to catch up as soon.Kambateh! ^^

p/s:Under the sun,there is shadow,moving with no head,seeking for the target. Well,he won't catch it,yet,he found hopeless. He tells the shadow:"Why don't we be friend? =)" and i said:"My pleasure.=')"